


Always You

by winnerstick



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 02:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winnerstick/pseuds/winnerstick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't marry her."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always You

"Don't marry her."

There they were, put out like an order, but Stiles knew it was a request. He had known the male long enough to know the difference between what Derek perceived to be an order and what Derek perceived to be a plea. There was a fine line, there always was, and by this point, Stiles knew where that line was. This request, though, was about as close to begging as Stiles had ever heard. Maybe Derek wasn't down on his knees holding his hand and crying into it. No, he would never do that. He was standing tall, just like he always did, with his hands at his side balled into fists, just to stay strong. Because he had to stay strong, just like he always did. His voice held hints of sorrow, though. Sorrow that Stiles could trace as easily as a flame in a dark room, though he was trying to conceal it with an even darker wall. But Stiles knew him; he knew how much feeling Derek was trying to hold back.

That didn't make him less angry, though. Why now? Why had he chosen now, of all times, to come to him? Now when they were both dressed up in their finest and Stiles was getting ready to meet Lydia on the other end of the aisle. Why had he chosen now when the invitations were long since sent, the announcements were ordered, and the guests were in their seats? Now was not the time. Now was too late. They had gone too far. Stiles had given him plenty of opportunities; he had given him plenty of time to say "Stop", but he never did. Why did he have to choose now, when Lydia was already getting dressed and probably having cold feet that Allison would have to force her out of to get her down that aisle in her beautiful dress to her waiting fiance?

Derek always could have had him. He could have had Stiles from the time Stiles was still in school, following the young adult around, completely enamored with him. At that point, Stiles was still dumb and naive and tried way too hard to be just as cool as he perceived Derek to be. They were never close, and, looking back, Stiles could understand why Derek had always kept distance between them. He was too young, too stupid, too inexperienced. He wasn't even mature enough to be his friend, really. Not the man who had actually experienced life

He could have had him the day that Lydia and Jackson broke up--for the hundreth and final time--and Scott told Stiles to just go for it. And Derek stood there staring into his drink and avoiding Stiles's eyes and all Stiles wanted was for him to tell him not to or change the subject or something. But he didn't, and Scott kept insisting, so Stiles just went up to her and did it. He asked her out. And she, for some crazy reason, said yes. A reason that Stiles couldn't discern to this day.

He could have had him at Stiles's graduation party, when Stiles was sitting on the front steps trying to avoid everyone else. He didn't want to reminisce or talk about how much their lives were going to change. He didn't want to explain, in great detail, his plan for the next five years to yet another relative that he didn't even want at his party. Stiles just wanted to enjoy time with his friends and have one last hurrah without everyone telling him that his mother would be so proud of him. He didn't want to hear it, and no one seemed to understand that. But Derek could have had him the moment he sat down beside him without a word. He didn't say a single thing the first entire half hour they sat there and, for once, neither did Stiles. Then it all came out and he didn't stop talking Derek's ear off for at least another half an hour. But Derek let him and when Stiles had said all he could, Derek just placed a hand on his shoulder and stood up and walked away. And in that moment, Stiles hated him more than he could bear to say and wanted him to come back with every fiber of his being.

Derek could have had him the night Lydia and he had their first big blowout since moving in together. They yelled loud enough that the neighbors complained, just before Lydia stuffed a bag full of his clothes and shoved it at his chest. She kicked him out of their apartment and Stiles didn't know where else to go because his dad had told him that moving in together so soon was a bad idea and Scott was out of town with Allison for the weekend. Before he knew where he was going, his feet carried him to Derek's front door and he fell in as soon as the doorknob turned, spilling the entire event out, only to end with "And that's how I ended up here, now can I please spend the night?" And Derek allowed him to and even offered up his own bed, which Stiles insisted they shared.

Derek already had him when they woke up together with Derek's arms around Stiles's smaller frame and Stiles's head tucked into his shoulder. He already had him when they both looked up and stared at each other before their eyes closed and their lips connected. He already had him when Derek's arms tightened around his body and Stiles held his face in place, more to remind himself that this was real and he had Derek than to keep the alpha from pulling away.

Derek still had him when a few seconds later he pulled away and commanded with a gruff voice that Stiles "get the fuck out of his apartment." It hurt like hell and it took him weeks to get over the ache in his chest that the _name_ ignited. It took him almost three months to manage being in the same room as the older male.

Stiles gave him a chance the night before he proposed. He showed up at Derek's doorstep for the first time since that fateful night two years prior with an engagement ring in hand and a head full of doubts. He had every opportunity in the world to take all of their meaningful looks, lingering touches, and repressed desires and give them life. He had every opportunity to tell Stiles not to do this, not to propose to her, but he didn't. He told Stiles to do it. And he did. The very next night, under every cliche of candles and fancy dinners and champagne, he proposed to the girl of his childhood dreams, although he was still bathed in the light of his adult dream's rejection.

And here he was, standing before Stiles as if he had any right to him. As if he had any right to make such a request. Everything in Stiles was screaming for him to say no, to tell him to get lost, like Derek had done to him so many years before. But even on his worst days, Stiles didn't make a habit of indulging in revenge like that.

Because the fact of the matter was: Derek had him. He always had him. Nothing had ever changed that fact, and Stiles was pretty sure that nothing ever would.


End file.
